Tuesday, April 29, 2008

And Life Goes On

I've looked forward to it for years: my third and youngest child is graduating from high school in about six weeks. Yahoo! No more early mornings trying to coax a kid to go to seminary classes. No more frustrating arguments about homework. No more embarrassing meetings with teachers. No more politically correct idealogy coming home from some nutty "educator" who has no business indoctrinating her students with her own personal beliefs.

Part of me is unutterably relieved, but part of me is unutterably sad.

Back up about 25 years.

I was just pregnant with my son. I was happy, scared, apprehensive. When that baby was born, I was even more scared. But when he snuggled up on my shoulder for the first time, I truly became a mom. It was one of the best moments of my life.

Two sisters followed him three and six years later. I loved my babies. I dealt with the illnesses, the tantrums, their disappointments, their triumphs. Parenting is not easy, and it is not fun much of the time. I have been fascinated with these little people, so different from me, yet who reflect me too.

Now they are little no longer. I have done my level best to provide them with a happy, disciplined, principled, loving childhood. I have made many mistakes, but I have also done a lot of things right, and I cannot imagine life without my children. I have been unbelievably fortunate to have had the best partner in parenting I could have ever wanted. My husband is a great dad.

Anyway, here I am at another crossroads in my life. The work I have done for over 24 years is, for the most part, ending. My kids will all be out West, attending school and building lives with their spouses (at least the older two). I will remain in the East, trying to decide what to do with the rest of my life.

It's going to be interesting.

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